[sixties-l] Homer Simpson Suppressed

From: Paul Krassner (pkrassner@earthlink.net)
Date: Mon Jun 17 2002 - 18:23:00 EDT

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    To: Danny Goldberg
    From: Paul Krassner

    June 7, 2002

    Dear Danny,

    Dan Castellaneta, who is the voice of Homer on The Simpsons, and I have long
    been fans of each otherıs work, and he has attended several of my
    performances. When you invited me to do another album for Artemis Records,
    I asked Dan if he would introduce me at the taping in Homer Simpsonıs voice.

    He said he would consider it an honor and a pleasure. He typed out a
    manuscript and I observed him studying it before the show. Then he
    introduced me from an offstage microphone.

    I had already been informed that Fox TV wanted to hear the entire CD before
    granting permission, so of course I mentioned that to the audience, adding,
    ³Who would ever have thought that some day Homer Simpson would become an
    intellectual property?²

    Then I learned that Fox wanted seven copies of the mastered tape of ³Irony
    Lives!² I prepared myself for their refusal; the word in the industry is,
    ³Never mess with Fox lawyers.² And, ³Theyıre worse than Disney.²

    Next I was told that Danıs attorney said Dan didnıt know his introduction
    would be included in the actual CD. This was simply not true. I gave Danıs
    phone number to Artemis attorney Adrian White so that she could check with
    him directly.

    It turned out that the lawyer was concerned because the introduction leads
    into the first track (an organic process) which is titled ³Terrorist
    Attacks.² I immediately instructed artist Kalynn Campbell to list
    ³Introduction by Homer Simpson² and, beneath that, ³Terrorist Attacks.²

    Next, Fox wanted $500 for a licensing fee, which is apparently the going
    rate these days for a pound of flesh. Artemis agreed, but the delay
    continued, and Fox still hadnıt signed anything.

    You told me, ³It would be cooler to have Homerıs introduction on the album
    than not to,² and I concurred.

    As a result, the release of my album--originally intended for July 16--would
    have to be delayed for three weeks. This was frustrating, partly because so
    much of the material is topical, but also because I would be touring for my
    book, Murder At the Conspiracy Convention, in June and mostly July, and I
    knew that he-writes/he-talks would provide a good publicity angle.

    Today, designated bearer of bad news Jason Janego informed me that,
    ³Unfortunately, Fox declined our request, and in doing so failed to go into
    any detail as to what their reasons were.² He asked if there could be any
    situation where they would allow use of the introduction, and the Fox lawyer
    said he would go back and ask again.

    Yeah, as they say, right. But thereıs a blessing in disguise here.

    Iıve decided that I donıt want to have a second delay in releasing the
    album, and in my own Aikido-like fashion of turning negative energy into
    positive energy, I now believe that it would be cooler NOT to have Homerıs
    introduction on the CD.

    Rather, its suppression is much juicier than its inclusion, the kind of
    story that the media enjoy spreading, all the better for creating a buzz
    that will only serve to promote the album.

    This will begin on the first leg of my tour, in Los Angeles, June 10-12,
    where so far Iım scheduled for one local radio program, one syndicated TV
    program and one dinner with a columnist for the L.A. Times.

    Plus--and gosh, I just canıt imagine how this has happened--there are
    already bootleg copies of Homerıs introduction in the hands of friendly
    print journalists, web sites and disc jockeys. Iıll be sure to inform them
    to play it at their own risk.

    I daresay that more people will hear Homer introducing me than would have
    heard it on the CD itself. The irony of Irony Lives! is that the result of
    Foxıs attempt to disassociate themselves from the album will backfire.

    Would you arrange for it to be remastered in New York so that the
    introduction is eliminated and the first track begins with the applause, or
    will it be necessary for me to have that done out here?

    I realize that this kind of censorship is not a 1st Amendment issue, since
    itıs not being done by the government. Nevertheless, I have to deal with

    Burn CDs, Not Books.


                        * * *

    Fox owns only Dan doing Homerıs voice, not a transcript of what he
    said--here is the text of the introduction that will accompany the liner

    Hello. Iım Homer Simpson.

    There have been many great counter culture heroes I have admired over the
    years. Steve McQueen, Dr. Demento, Dr. Denis Leary and Wavy Gravy. Mmmmm

    But even some counter culture heroes go too far and step over that line
    between dissent and in-dissent...cy.

    Iım speaking of Paul Krassner.

    The first problem I have with Paul Krassner is that the only good song he
    wrote for The Jefferson Airplane was, ³Crown of Creation.² And even then
    his name is spelled K-a-n-t-n-e-r even though it is pronounced Krassner.

    I also have a problem with the fact that he is an atheist. If there is no
    God then who has placed a pox on me and mocks me every day? Of whom do I
    live in fear and mortal terror? Buddha? I think not. Heıs way over in
    China where thankfully he canıt get at me.

    I have a problem with his constant use of words such as ³penis² ³Larry
    Flynt² ³premature² ³ejaculation² ³CIA² and on several occasions he has been
    known to use the words ³Bush² and ³Bush Jr.² in mixed company. Did I
    mention ³penis²? Yeah, here it is--³penis² (Laughs). (To self) Penis.

    Letıs see, where was I? I mentioned, ³penis ³gravy² ³Buddha² ³God²
    ³Jefferson Airplane²...

    No. Thatıs it...

    Will everyone please put their hands together for that raving unconfined
    nut...hereıs hoping he opens with ³Crown of Creation²...Paul Krassner!

    [Note: Homer Simpsonıs introduction can be heard on paulkrassner.com]

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