[sixties-l] Got a tomato that looks like Ira?

From: radtimes (resist@best.com)
Date: Mon Aug 13 2001 - 17:40:25 EDT

  • Next message: Jvaron@aol.com: "[sixties-l] Reply (and apology) to Ron Jacobs"

    Sunday, August 12, 2001

    Got a tomato that looks like Ira?


    You could win a trip to Alcatraz, or, get a toss at his mug
    Right about now, those prized Jersey beefsteak tomoatoes are maturing into
    plump, succulent fruits ripe for the picking.
    We recommend you leave them on the vine just a little bit longer - say,
    until Aug. 23 - when they will be finished growing. And ready for throwing.
    By then, they should be overripe, thin-skinned, seedy, worm-ravaged, and
    perhaps even a little smelly, just like some famous ex-fugitive-murderer we
    all know:
    Ira "The Blade" Einhorn.
    He's back in town these days after a 20-year vacation from justice in
    Ireland, England, Sweden and, most recently, France.
    Following a halfhearted suicide attempt with a serrated steak knife, the
    former hippie guru is meditating a life-in-prison sentence at Graterford
    after being extradited to Philly to await a new trial for the 1977 murder
    of Holly Maddux - a crime for which he was convicted in absentia in 1993.
    But if you're not lucky enough to be a guard at Graterford prison, where
    Ira is bunking, you can still take a shot at a reasonable facsimile of his
    smug mug laid out on a giant billboard.
    That's right, the second annual Ira Einhorn "Killer Tomato" contest is less
    than two weeks away.
    Hosted by Michael Smerconish, of WPHT (1210-AM), this year's fruit fling
    will again be at the Arroyo Grille in Manayunk. Owner of the homegrown
    tomato that best exhibits the characteristics of the killer - thin-skinned,
    ripe-smelling and seedy - wins a trip to Alcatraz. Others presenting
    tomatoes get a chance to toss their fruit at the billboard.
    Mary Maddux - one of Holly Maddux's three sisters who fought for years for
    Einhorn's return - is expected to be on hand as a judge and participant.
    Another sister, Elizabeth "Buffy" Hall, can't make it, but sent along some
    words of advice and encouragement from her home in Texas.
    "I recommend a nice, ripe - bordering on overripe - tomato," she advised.
    "Something reminiscent of his personality - thin-skinned and oozing."
    Last year's winner, Charles Chumley, of Bellmawr, N.J., relied on a plump
    and juicy "Better Boy" tomato to carry the day. He sealed the victory by
    attaching two electrodes to the fat fruit to simulate the electric chair.
    Of course, there is no electric chair in Pennsylvania's capital-punishment
    statute. And Einhorn could not be sentenced to death if convicted in a
    second trial, because the law was not in effect at the time of the Maddux
    But creative Daily News readers have found other ways to zing Einhorn now
    that he's in custody.
    Take this "Welcome home, Ira" letter, from Camp Hill, Pa., inmate Kev
    "I hope you like your new home," Gallagher writes. "It's been mine for that
    past 17 months. Except I didn't run. I took my punishment like a man,
    which, by the way, you will have one shortly!"
    Remember, this year's Killer Tomato Contest winner gets a trip to Alcatraz.

    This archive was generated by hypermail 2b30 : Tue Aug 14 2001 - 02:30:36 EDT